He was the kind of kid you automatically keep an extra eye on. He kicked around the edges of the circle, with a thinly-disguised disdain as I outlined the activities that make up the Challenge Course we were about to embark on. The group of Grade 6s was there for a day of learning about leadership and teamwork, but this guy didn’t seem to have a lot interest in learning nor excitement about being part of the team.
His classmates headed excitedly for the first obstacle while he hung back, taking as long as possible to comply with my instructions. Every movement seemed designed to stretch time, as though perhaps it might be over before he had really had to participate, and I wondered what it was that prevented this student from being able to join in with the class’ laughter as they took turns falling off the log they were supposed to be balancing on.
As we moved toward the next activity I started to explain how they would need to help each other get from one side of a suspended tyre to the other without touching the outside or holding on to the chains that held it in place. It was as high as the shoulders of many of the students, and once again I saw the back turn, shoulders hunch, mumbling and kicking grass.
I moved closer and tried to engage with him, pointing out the feeble attempts his smaller class mates were making at getting through the difficult obstacle.
“I can’t do it. I’m too big.” He growled.
“Says who?” I asked, as I explained once again that without him, the whole team would fail the challenge, since the purpose of the obstacle was for the whole team to cross through the tyre.
“I’m too big. I weigh 75kg!” He growled louder this time, as though this specific number was the weight that hung around his neck.
“Since when did a number get to decide whether or not you succeed at supporting your team?” I asked, challenging him to see himself for what he could offer the team rather than what he felt was holding him back.
I stood back a little, watching his face change as he observed the futile attempts his classmates were making to lift each other. It was as if a sudden thought occurred to his feet before his mind had the chance to catch up. With barely a word, he moved into the middle the circle and picked up one of the smaller students, nimbly feeding him feet first through the hole. A huge cheer erupted from the rest of the class, as a smile played at the edge of his mouth. After the first couple were successfully deposited on the other side he knelt down in the dust and instructed one child after another to climb on his back in order to get themselves into the tyre without touching the forbidden sides. One by one they climbed through as the cheering continued for the new class hero.
Until he was the only one left.
Once again he tried to walk away, to leave the rest of the group in a state of victory as he accepted a defeat for himself. But the cheering turned into encouragement, and the encouragement caught his feet in the grass until he turned toward the rest of his team. He launched himself at the enticing opening, only to fall back onto the ground. With the encouragement of the team he backed up and ran at it again with the same result. After each attempt it seemed the cheers became all the more insistent, spurring him on to try again first one way, then another.
You should have heard the roar when he finally got his head and shoulders through! With his hands by his side, he was virtually stuck except for all the excited hands grabbing at his shirt, pulling him through so that he could join in the victory of his peers.
I could tell so many more stories of kids that I have seen arrive at Camp Clayton with their eyes on the ground, who have discovered a lifelong lesson like my new friend did. So many find that they are confronted with what they see as their weaknesses, only to find that those insecurities are the very factors that create the success of the whole group. I think about these stories when I am snowed under by mundane jobs or frustrated by incessant demands. I think about these individuals who go home holding their head a little higher and their smile made a little wider because they discovered not only what it means to be part of a team, but what it means to lend one’s strength for the good of others.
Written by Michelle Zwerver